Not quite the Olympics

Our life has become rather sedentary since Sonny was born, revolving around his constant feedings. We're eating well, too, thanks to the culinary skills of our confinement lady, so getting lazy and out-of-condition might be thought a concern.

Luckily, there is a mitigating factor. Sonny's arrival has inaugurated a set of all-new exercise routines: They won't ever involve into anything of Olympic dimensions - but they've been keeping us from going completely to seed.

To start with, there's the baby lift. This involves lugging the little critter around the home, either one- or two-handed. At its lowest level of difficulty, the baby lift is attempted when he is completely pacified; there's also an inexorable progression to these sets, since he's been sucking in vast quantities of milk and gaining weight prodigiously.

Next comes the shopping sprint. The starter gun goes, and we scoot out the door at top speed, once Sonny's been fed - with a series of of next-door stations to hit (and errands to perform). The time limit is dictated by his voracious appetite; if we don't get home fast enough, a certain trademark howling will announce that we've missed the cut.

The diaper toss, to give credit where it's due, was invented by our confinement lady, who is poetry in motion as she readies Sonny for a fresh nappy, wraps all soiled items up compactly in the used diaper and then tosses the bundle into the bin. Here, failure to score a bulls-eye can result in a most unpleasant spillage, so concentration is especially tested.

Finally, there's the help-me-I'm-feeding relay, which involves both parents - but always has Pa handing over to Mum, never the other way round. This sport commences at regular intervals, and is sparked whenever Mum is breastfeeding. She will, once Sonny has latched on, inevitably want some small item, whether a drink, book or TV remote. Waiting craftily till Pa is about as far away as is possible - no mystery as to who's currently shouldering the writing duties - she then announces her requirements, jiggling the baby meaningfully. Pa then first roots about for the item, which may be artfully concealed for extra entertainment value, then trudges over.

Oddly enough, he'd rather just get back to jogging.