Preparing for Bandit Sonny

In medieval times, there would come a time in a manor home or fortress when the alarm would be sounded: "Bandits! Bandits!" The populace will scatter to bring in their prize possessions as the drawbridge is drawn up, windows slammed shut, weapons readied and water levels in the moat carefully checked.

We're at pretty much at that level of organised panic, as Sonny lumbers ever closer towards being able to range beyond his little mattress. Already, with utmost effort and heavy breathing, he can half-crawl, half-roll his way towards us when he sees us sipping our evening coffees. His eyes dart everywhere, just like that of a highwayman seeking booty. And it won't be long before he'll be galumphing about our home, grabbing any thing he can reach and testing it with his busy lips.

So what are we doing about it? Pretty much what you might expect. Sharp objects are being withdrawn into drawers and high shelves while we now have a little supply of gadgets designed to 'baby-proof' dangerous edges and corners. We are probably going to have to vacuum the floor much more regularly, to remove any tempting morsels that are not fit for human consumption. And any object can be easily toppled by a curious shove is being redeployed to harder-to-get-at nooks.

People always imagine parents eagerly egging their children on to the next level of achievement, to speaking at an earlier age, mastering their ABCs and running about like mini-tornadoes. Maybe we're just lazy, or - as we prefer to see it - perhaps we're just so well-adjusted we want Sonny to take his time in savouring each mini-stage in his march towards ever-widening awareness and sentience. We're not desperately trying to fast-forward things to when we won't be able to enjoy a cuppa without springing up at least once to stop Sonny from slithering into the shoes. We've seen friends' children (and our own nephew) barging about - and even climbing about - too many times for the prospect to hold any charm.

After all, who ever heard of anyone welcoming the depredations of a bandit?